May 2013
1 tag
1 tag
sassysinglelady:
*sends nudes via batman signal*
1 tag
scvlptures:
depression is when you don’t really care about anything
anxiety is when you care too much about everything
and having both is just like what
heartcramp:
Look, if you nicely tell me that swearing makes you uncomfortable and you politely ask me not to, I will stop immediately and speak nicer than a nun.
But if you start acting like you’re on some fucking high horse, or telling me that I’m going to Hell for talking the way that I do and you can’t “be around that kind of language” then you can bet your motherfuckin’ ass that I’ll be...
grargll:
light rain (◡‿◡✿)
heavy rain (◕‿◕✿)
thundershowers (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
1 tag
davidisbeyonce:
jesuschristvevo:
imagine avril lavigne as a mom
“hey hey you you i dont like your boyfriend”
“but mom!”
“no way no way youre never gonna see him”
“MOM”
“HEY HEY YOU YOU YOURE FUCKING GROUNDED”
1 tag
1 tag
Today I got a detention for standing up for what I...
Teacher: Write down 3 things you dislike about yourself
Me: *sits there*
Teacher: Ciara, why aren't you writing?
Me: I can't do this. I will take a zero, sorry.
Teacher: Why?
Me: Because I refuse to promote self-hate. Because some people in the world can fill out 20 of these front and back with no blank spaces and this can trigger someone.
Teacher: Ciara, you have to do it or I am sending you to the office.
Me: Okay. *gets up and walks to office*
^needs more notes^
snowllux:
snowllux:
when you search corpses of people you worked hard to kill and they don’t have any money
I FORGOT TO MENTION I’M PLAYING A GAME OMG
Reblog if you have a friendship of more than 5...
iygrittenothing:
arisuskirkland:
Reblog if you have a friendship of 15 or more years
2 tags
drarna:
instead of learning from my mistakes i like to dwell on them until i have a panic attack.
1 tag
earthnation:
will u still love me when im no longer young and ok looking
1 tag
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airagorn:
dumb story because i think i’m funny
we were watching a movie in school and there was a scene where this guy was driving over lava and they kept showing close up shots of the tires catching on fire and i started laughing and my friend kept asking me what was so funny and when i finally composed myself i took a deep breathe and whispered
‘hot wheels’
1 tag
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egberts:
viarga:
just-laff:
egberts:
if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket
you are one of the great thinkers of our time
Then you’d look at a house and be like “oh damn I wanna live there” and millions of dollars would be in your pockets, crushing and...
1 tag
grangerdangerthestarshipranger:
breadmaakesyoufat:
dontyoulovemebaby:
breadmaakesyoufat:
GUYS ITS 2:AM AND I FORGOT WHAT OATMEAL MEANT AND I THOUGHT IT WAS AN EMOTION AND I SAID OUTLOUD “IM FEELING VERY OATMEAL” BUT IT DIDN’T MAKE SENSE, SO I LOOKED UP OATMEAL, BUT I SPENT 20 MINUETS CONTEMPLATING IF IT ACTUALLY WAS AN EMOTION AND IF GOOGLE WAS LYING
this text post is so oatmeal
i hate...
1 tag
zeldabuddy:
travelingmadness:
proof-reads ask about 5,000 times before sending
proof-reads school essay about 0 times before sending
1 tag
foodchewer:
*hides good snacks from family members*
1 tag
tumblgheadovrheels4u:
kilisbeard:
askluciferthelightbringer:
itsjustcheeseandbread:
soft satan
sad satan
little ball of rage
sassy satan
sammy satan
why did you kill gabe
:(
crying
1 tag
boygrimlark:
scout-ebubbles:
docot:
freddybenson:
leovaldezstyle:
freddybenson:
A
B
C
the brazilian wandering spider’s venom can give you an erection lasting for hours
D
E
1 tag
kawrying:
so its 2:17 am and my window is open and i burped really loudly and i heard someone yell “what the fuck”
meladoodle:
my director yesterday was like ‘alright grab the nearest hottest person and kiss them on the lips’ as a joke so i said ‘haha i can’t kiss myself’ and no one heard except this one guy and so he stole my joke and shouted ‘I CAN’T KISS MYSELF’ really loud and everyone laughed and that’s the first time i killed man… just kidding it wasn’t the first.
foreveralone-lyguy:
breakfast-burrito:
breakfast-burrito:
My life is so sad I saw a shooting star last week (2nd one in my life) and I wished for a successful text post.
fuCK I TOLD YOU NOW IT WONT COME TRUE
let’s make a dream come true
Never give second chances because you’ll get screwed over again
1 tag
supremelyevil:
i present you a picture of dave and female dave getting a ride from darth vader
1 tag
theuntalentedsinger:
colfr:
so my parents just came home from the shops and told me that they got a new toilet seat
Yes those are dolphins and shells.
But wait until you open the fucking thing
Oh yes
my parents bought a LIGHT UP TOILET SEAT
I am so fucking done
at least you can pee in the middle of the night without turning on the bathroom light
1 tag
Nine: I think I was in love once.
Ten: Really? What was her name?
Nine: Her name was Rose.
Ten: Doctor, we all love Rose.
Nine: I love Rose because she's fantastic. She always knew just what to say and she made me better.
Ten: Oh, yes! Rose was brilliant. All soft and warm and clever and so very human.
Eleven: I love River!
Nine: ...
Ten: ...
Eleven: I love Clara!
Ten: Doctor, are you just looking at girls in the universe and saying that you love them?
Eleven: I love... fez.
Ten: Do you really love fez, or are you just saying that because you saw it?
Eleven: I - I love fez! I love fez.
condommodel:
how many of your selfies do i have to like for you to realize im hitting on you
1 tag
rathersmallbangtheory:
The Gr9 Gatsby
1 tag
1 tag
elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:
3-2-1queer:
When I was in fifth grade I realized I liked girls but I was like “that’s a problem for another day” and literally forgot about it and then in like eleventh grade I was like “oh my god”
YOU PROCRASTINATED REALIZING YOUR SEXUALITY THAT’S IT YOU WIN YOU ARE THE QUEEN OF THE PROCRASTINATORS i bow to you
1 tag
thefandommenace:
I just want a fruit salad that isn’t 98% of these fucking things
what the fuck are you talking about thats the best part
1 tag
andtheniwaskilled:
Changing your url, icon and blog title all at the same time more like
1 tag
rhydonmyhardon:
i fricken hate math jokes I only get them a fraction of the time
1 tag
1 tag
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makkine:
makkine:
Oh my god this is giving me flashbacks to when Disney announced it was buying club penguin and there was a literal actual penguin protest in front of the clothes shop for like 4 hours straight I love society
1 tag
nbcemployee:
the uglier the snapchat, the closer the friendship
1 tag
